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Deep happiness is not something that just appears. Deep happiness is cultivated through the choices you make. Your choices influence your perspective. How you perceive your personal world allows you to imagine how it would be if something were added, changed or eliminated. That’s how dreams come about. You have an idea that your world would be better if _____which creates a desire to _____ which turns into a vision that holds the hope that true happiness will follow.PAUSE A MOMENT
At this time of transition from the long cold, grey winter days to the much awaited sunny spring, we might take a moment to ask ourselves if we take life for granted? Often we're busy filling our thoughts with what we don’t have. I wonder, when do we think about what we do have and what we like about this life that we wake up to every day.
I was at a meeting not too long ago when all of a sudden one of my colleagues, taking a sip of water, began choking. Of course, we were stunned, some of us ran for help while others prepared to deliver the Heimlich maneuver. Our colleague recovered but all of us were frightened that something as simple as swallowing water could end up so life threatening. However, another friend of mine wasn’t so fortunate. She was on a long awaited cruise vacation, having loads of fun, when she slipped, hitting her head which left her in a coma. She died three months later never speaking another word. As we remember the 2013 Boston Marathon , I think of the robust runners and hopeful supporters so involved with the joy of the day, when something disastrous stopped their lives without notice. In Boston, it was a bomb… for my friend, it was a fall… for those of us who still have our lives to live, we came away with a heightened awareness of the fragility of life.
I certainly don’t like to think of bad things happening when we least expect it, especially during fun times…such a drag! But, while we’re transitioning from heavy coats to lighter jackets, eagerly awaiting those consistent sunny spring days, maybe we could pause a moment, fill our thoughts with all that we have and give thanks for being alive ... which leads me to the question, "How do you honor your life?"
In my estimation, enjoying your life is your birthright, being happy is allowed. As you know, I’m all about you livin' your dream! What if you recall how “happy” feels, then duplicate it at least once a day?
Enjoy every day … Blessings, Chris
SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH
Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the mistruths, alternative facts, and other non-accurate speech dominating the news reports these days. That got me to thinking about how we speak our truth. Usually, we apply the concept of how we speak our truth to others which, I believe, is always something that needs conscious evaluation lest we fall into bad habits of being deceitful. The question, however, is do we ever apply the concept to how we speak to ourselves?
We have inner dialogue filled with all kinds of thoughts, opinions and insults collected over the years. For many, these insults have shaped the way we see ourselves. You may be familiar with comments like “so clumsy”, “never do anything right”, “not smart enough” ,“not good enough”. How often do we repeat old insults applying them to new situations, particularly when attempting to do something different, improve our environment or trying to make our dreams come true. I wonder how much conscious evaluation we lend to our inner speech.
I think it’s time to consciously evaluate how we speak to ourselves - is it your voice you hear or the voice of experiences past? Here are a few questions to ask: How do you encourage yourself? How do you support yourself emotionally? Do you stand up for yourself? What types of compliments do you give to yourself? Do you speak your truth to you?
Speaking your truth starts with you acknowledging how you speak to yourself - the rest is what you want to do about it.
Let me help you define and speak your truth. Please call me at 978- 645-1982 for a free ½ consult.
Spring is almost here…time to leave winter behind and embrace the sun and ourselves!! Have fun ... Blessings, Chris
VALENTINE’S DAY TIPS
Valentine’s Day is a time for cards, candy, flowers, balloons, and maybe even a special night out to celebrate the love between couples, new and old. It’s a time to express the personal love that flows between you and your special person. The secret to a happy relationship lies in your ability to communicate clearly, acknowledge when you are wrong and not hold a grudge. Relationships, including marriage, are built on trust, fidelity, honesty, consistency and reliability. And, a touch of adventure will keep the romance alive!
The key to relationship happiness comes from how you feel when your partner demonstrates a genuine concern for you by his or her thoughtfulness in speech and action. Is your partner understanding and flexible when there are conflicting demands on your time? Do you feel cherished? Couple relationships need to be nurtured continuously.
Paying attention to the above will lead to a satisfying and healthy relationship. For some people this can be hard to do and if you have ADHD it can be even more challenging. If that’s true for you, let me assist you in creating a healthy relationship where both of you can feel cherished.
Happy Valentine’s Day………have fun………Chris
MAKE 2017 COUNT FOR YOU
Welcome to 2017!! You’ve made your New Year’s Resolution to help you become your best self —exercise more; eat healthier; become more organized; stop procrastinating; etc., etc, etc.
You started out with energy, good intentions and a positive attitude. Now at midpoint - just 2 short weeks ago - you feel that motivation fading.
Resolutions state what we want to do. More often than not, a plan for how we want to do it is not included. We say to ourselves the goal is so obvious, just do it. And then, we don’t!
Do not let another year go by wishing or beating yourself up for not following through on that
important Resolution. Ask yourself: What do I need in order to accomplish my Resolution? How will I stay motivated? Make a plan……or call 978-645-1982 to develop an effective action plan to accomplish all you want to do for yourself. If not now, when?
May 2017 be the year you want it to be……Make it count!
Blessings, Chris
THE KEY TO YOUR HEART: LOVE
The religious message of the holidays tells us we are in the season of spiritual love, a time of opening our hearts to others, known and unknown, and practicing kindness and thoughtfulness towards all. And, in the spirit of the season, we lovingly respond with donations, volunteering and praying for others.I meet so many people who give unconditionally to others, especially during the holidays. However, they tell me that they feel unworthy of receiving love. Whether it’s because of what they’ve concluded in childhood or their hearts were broken on the way to romance, they feel unable to receive. I ask you during this holiday time, while you’re extending spiritual love to others, to extend that same spiritual love to yourself. Now is the time to open your heart to love, nurture yourself with prayers, positive thoughts and gratefulness for who you are. Let yourself receive.
Whatever your religious beliefs are, make time to honor yourself, as well as others, with the spiritual love of this holiday season.
Just for the fun of it, try this little exercise:
Make a list of everything you can think of that answers the question:
What do I like about Myself?
When you are done, then change the word “like” to "Love".
A pleasant, blessed holiday season to all…………….Chris
YOUR BEST SELF
Since the presidential election, the most consistent questions I’ve heard from others are ‘who do I believe’ and ‘who do I to trust’. As we’ve seen during this election process, the business of politics brings out the best and the worst in us. Whether we agree or not with the outcome, I think it is fair to say that we all want the best for our country. How we answer the above questions is dependent on the values that guide our choices and direct the way we live our lives.
In anticipation of celebrating Thanksgiving, the football game and eating that delicious turkey, we might include a time to reflect on what we believe in. When is the last time we took time to articulate the values that we hold dear? While waiting for the dust to settle regarding the direction the country will move in, it seems to me that we have a unique opportunity this Thanksgiving to think about our core values
A tip to help answer the above questions is as follows:
“Acknowledge how you feel NOW and Start where you are TODAY”.
+ Make a factual list of what you have that you like and what you have that you don’t like.
What do you think about what you identified.
+ Write down what you want. It can be as simple as improving on what you have or it can be three page essay of how you envision your life to be.
+ Now list the personal values you live your life by.
+ Ask: “Does my professional and personal life reflect my values?”
Knowing your personal values guides your choices especially when faced by conflicting standards of behavior.
When you sit down to give thanks this Thanksgiving Day , also give thanks for knowing that the choices you make come from the truest sense of Your Best Self. When you know yourself you know who to believe and who to trust — it starts with you.
Until next month, do something nice for yourself and have fun……Chris
Adult ADHD and the Symptoms – Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Have you ever jokingly blamed your forgetfulness or disorganization on ADHD? Or, seriously wondered why, no matter how hard you try, you can never stay organized?
Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is a genetic neurobiological condition usually diagnosed in childhood continuing into adulthood, much like diabetes or heart problems. It can also result from a head trauma. There are three core symptoms of ADHD: inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.
For many it is undiagnosed until circumstances in our life do not keep our “habits” under control.
Habits like:
* forgetfulness
* not following through on promises or expectations
* being distracted to the point of not listening
* being too active - being too withdrawn
Usually, these are greeted with accusations of “being lazy”, “not reliable”, “uncaring”.
You know you’re not any of those things. But, those labels feed negative self-esteem diminishing self-confidence and lead to an attitude of “why bother”.
If this sounds familiar to you, it’s important to check out whether ADHD is a part of your life. If you’re not able to make effective changes to accomplish that job promotion or maintain a caring relationship, consider the possibility that ADHD may be part of the reason.
Vision to Action, Professional & Personal Coaching, offers Coaching for Adults with ADHD. If the above behaviors are significantly effecting your everyday life, it’s time to create new behaviors to deal with the above and other “habits” associated with ADHD. It is easier to tackle these nagging behaviors together, re-balancing and re-energizing your approach to living your best life making ADHD work for you.
People with ADHD have untapped abilities that coaching can bring into awareness.
Contact me for a free half hour consultation (978) 645-1982.
Check out CHADD, The National Resource on ADHD at www.CHADD.org
Wishing you good health, happiness and wealth………….Chris
Transitions – Fresh Starts
Transitions - Fresh Starts
I always think of Fall as a chance to re-evaluate or re-think our everyday existence. A time to bring a fresh approach to stale habits - even if it’s as simple as using a different cup for your morning coffee.
What if the next time you are faced with a “transition” in your life, you tried something different - doesn’t have to be huge, just different. It might be just a change in language. Instead of saying how you dread the thought of ……(fill in the blank…; you might say something like I’m looking forward to …………… I have a friend that does this very successfully all of the time!
On a daily basis, we all face transitions that require us to think differently about where we’re going or what we do. Clients have told me “I can deal with big changes but it’s the little stuff that throws me”. Conversely, others have said “I can manage the small changes but the big ones overwhelm me.” Whether it is the route we take to work or the move we make to a new location or a different lifestyle, it seems that everyone has their own pattern of behaviors that come into play during transitions. What has worked for me during my times of transition is focusing on how to make it easier, better, more fun, more exciting, more beneficial. For me, the key question to ask at times of transition, small or large, is:
How will this transition benefit me?
I list the pluses and minuses of what I’m moving towards which helps clarify my expectations. After weighing and measuring the benefits, the next question to answer is:
What do I need to put in place for a smooth transition?
Once the facts are in front of me, the next question to explore is:
How do I feel about making this transition?
Feelings can be complex but feelings create attitude and attitude influences perspective. It can be said that our attitude is the secret ingredient supporting us during the process of transition. Knowing how I feel about the benefits of the transition and the steps needed, makes it easier for me to embrace the Fresh Start that life’s transitions bring.
Enjoy the colors of Autumn and have fun……Chris
Just a Thought
Just a Thought
As you savor these last... long... lazy... days of summer, you might ponder this:
If this week, month or year were a do-over, what would you change?
Wishing you health, wealth and happiness.......Chris